Friday, April 06, 2012

Litmus Test

Here's how I know when I'm tired vs. when I'm maybe a little depressed: I don't feel like dusting, and I don't feel like rearranging or decorating. Even when I'm tired, those things still sound like fun and I usually find a way to do them, even if general housework is suffering. And my house? It is dusty. Especially the bedrooms.

I'm not someone who buys a picture and takes two months to get around to hanging it. Usually it happens within an hour of getting home from the store. But I have had two little coordinating canvasses for my bedroom (which my sister found for five dollars apiece at T.J. Maxx- that WAS a fun day) sitting in a corner for almost two weeks and I just have not once felt motivated to get up and hang them.

I am really not liking these progesterone shots the longer it goes on. Either my pain tolerance is getting worse or my hips are becoming covered in scar tissue and there's just no good place to stick a long needle anymore without it hurting. Each one seems to be sucking more and leaving more lingering pain. But worse than that is that I'm pretty sure the extra hormones are what's responsible for destroying my coping mechanisms the last few weeks. You guys, I cry all the time. I cannot stop crying about stuff. Some of it makes sense, but a lot of times it doesn't at all, and it's just getting annoying, frankly. Also, once it starts, I seem incapable of shutting it off and snapping back to normal. I just... I really dread another ten weeks of this. That's all.

8 comments:

d e v a n said...

Oh gosh, I'm so sorry!((hug))

Swistle said...

Hormone stuff is the worst. THE WORST. I sometimes think that in the future they'll find that pretty much ALL mental issues have to do with hormone stuff. Because it is THE WORST.

Michelle said...

Hugs.

Tracy said...

I'm so sorry!

AM said...

Mommy to be.
Cut yourself some slack. As a long time sufferer of depression and hormone stuff, I can assure you it will get better. The best part? You get a beautiful baby at the end. The best I advice I ever got was if I felt like I needed to get something done, other than get out of bed, do it in 5's. Pick 5 things up and rest for 5 minutes, then pick 5 more things up and then rest 5 more minutes etc. For things like dusting, set a timer for 5 minutes, the dust for those 5 minutes, rest for 5 minutes, you see how this goes. Pretty soon, you hear the timer or have stopped picking just 5 things up. Its unsolicited advice so do with it what you may. Just know it will get better. It will. That I can promise you.

Maricris @ SittingAround said...

Oh, sorry to hear that. Hope things get better for you soon.

artemisia said...

Oh, I am sorry, honey. It might be worth it to talk to a therapist for these next few weeks.

Oh, I do hope you start to feel better. If you don't after the baby comes, please be sure to take care of yourself!

Katy said...

Frankly, I am HUGE hormonal mess right now and there are no extra hormones in me--I can't imagine pregnancy with extras!!!

Ten weeks you said? I've got eleven max and while I'm a little wistful about this being my last pregnancy and all, I won't be at all upset about kissing the crazy-mones good bye.